Personal rambling

Note: This is personal and has nothing to do with food or sports, no real need to read on. I don't usually turn this blog into a journal of sorts but wanted to get some thoughts out.

It is slightly amazing to me sometimes how much we turn out like our parents. We take on their ideas, manuerisms, etc even if it is subconsciously. Granted not everything, but there is always this underlying parent in us. My brother and my mom are like two peas in a pod most of the time. I am much more like my father, and sure there are a ton of ways that I'm not like him, thankfully. But I am very similar to him.

This brings me to the idea of circumstantial relationships. The ones that are different with the way one of the people lives. Parents are supposed to love their kids and support them no matter what. That is what my parents have always done, and what I hope to be able to do as a parent. However there are parents who don't operate like this. The ones who, if you make a decision they don't like in your personal life they treat you with spite. They may hold grudges, or even denounce you as a son or daughter all together.

This brings me back to how we are like our parents. I think that after seeing this, and being subjected to this it is a hard concept for someone not to incorporate into their lives. A friend does something that you don't like, or don't agree with in their personal life, away from your friendship, and it is an easy fix. Introduce shame, guilt and grudges into the equation. Exercise the same form of controlling others as your parent(s) did. However the problem is that functional adult relationships don't work that way. It is not fair to your friend if they have to feel judged. Friendships and other adult relationships should not be circumstantial, they should work across all situations.

As I've grown older I have realized this more and more. I used to use such tactics, but realized that it is no way to treat other human beings, especially ones that are supposed to be my friends. However, sometimes it is much to hard not to be like your parents and I think for some people this is a hard thing to see.